Jaw Breakers

The title is because jaw breakers are my favorite candy and it is Halloween. 

My least favorite candy? Probably Dots. Those are the poor man’s jelly beans and they suck. 

Anyway, I’ve been in conversation with a new guy. We matched on Bumble. No plans for meeting yet. He lives two hours away. Works at a bookstore. Has a college degree. He’s handsome. Clever. He seems to think I’m pretty cool. 

I don’t have a clever nickname for him yet. Nothing may come of it. 

I let him know, in so many words, “Hey, I’m pretty open about gender/sex/sexuality. I have dicks on things.” He said he thought that was great. 

Okay, basically, the way I brought it up was by mentioning how my mom suggested I put balls and a dick on my 6’ dinosaur skeleton to fit in with my apparent Halloween theme. And she also said she asked my dad if he had seen my dinosaur and he said “Why? Is it fuckin’ somethin’?” 


What can I say? My parents know me. 

He implied that I had a dinosaur sex fetish, but that he wouldn’t judge. 

I assured him that I do not. I just am, again, open about sex and gender and sexuality. This makes some people uncomfortable or leads them to call me “fucking nuts” when I tell them I dressed up as a condom for Halloween one year (“Good Egg” was a prude; speaking of him, I told him to go fuck himself). 

Anyway, this guy claims he’s been told he smells good. 😍 

I hope we do get to meet, but who knows. It’s fun in the meantime.