Here’s something crazy for you. I’ve met a guy who doesn’t cause me to overthink or second-guess myself!

No – really! And he is human and real! And he owns a car! And has a college degree! And he likes me!

He describes himself as a sort of Ben Wyatt (be still my heart!). And it is true – he is nerdy in the best ways and very into politics. He has already offered to run my political campaign should I run for city council a la Leslie Knope.

We met on OKCupid. I sent him a quote from The Office.

We have a lot in common, from both being the eldest of three children, to having parents who met in their teens, to being born in the same month. He knows what it is like to have lost a significant amount of weight. Our temperaments and senses of humor are pretty similar as well.

This is the easiest, least overthinking, least second-guessing dating situation I’ve ever had. It is going fairly smoothly, which of course makes me wonder when the other shoe is going to drop (my therapist discourages this habit by telling me to anticipate success). I’m able to be myself completely. And it’s not in a sort of, let me test you to see if you can handle it way, but in a sort of I forget that I need to perform way. I disclose things and he discloses things and there’s just acceptance (so far).

We’ve hung out three times so far. Our first date was at a local restaurant and bar. Then, since he found out I was going to spend Thanksgiving alone for the first time, he gave me something to look forward to by meeting me for a movie that evening. He came over afterward and met my dogs and saw my place.

A few days later, I told him my back hurt. He brought me IcyHot and a bar of chocolate. He sat next to me and entertained my dogs as I worked on a bibliography. He rubbed my back where it hurt. We watched the Steelers game (he is a fan) while playing Words With Friends and cuddling on the couch.

When he left later that night, he told me he was going to miss me like crazy. He loves my curly hair. He thinks I’m sweet, brilliant, and funny. He’s very encouraging and supportive. He remembers the things and stories I tell him. He offered to fold my laundry for me before we even met – ha!

This just feels so right. Like — it’s not hard! I’m not having to push him to spend time with me. I’m not having to put in most of the work. I’m not wondering if I’m one of many women being chatted up. I’m not just a piece of ass or a fuck buddy. I’m not the only one who has a driver’s license or a working car or working sight.


I’m looking forward to seeing where this leads.