My Personal Dumbass Tax

I was on my banking website and I noticed that my subscription had been renewed, as it has been for months. I have known that I’ve had a DVD out from them.

I did not realize, until about an hour ago, that DVD has been out since September FUCKING 2011.

Have I watched it? No. It has been on a shelf, occasionally noticed when dusting said shelf.

And each month, like clockwork, I’ve been charged $10.81 to have this DVD in my possession. And it is not like I can blame anyone or anything for this. I can’t say, “Blockbuster! You should have reminded me to watch that movie and turn it in so that I could get other movies and take advantage of your service.” It’s not their fault.

I guess I can chalk this up to being my personal dumbass tax. Because I was a dumbass, I was charged $10.81 a month. That’s fairly reasonable, I suppose. Other people spend their dumbass tax in other ways. I wish I had gotten more out of my dumbass tax, like tasty liquid calories or nicotine or high dollar cupcakes. Instead, I got a DVD that sat in an envelope on a shelf. Dumbass taxes aren’t necessarily bad… they are just painful when realized.

This is painful. Mostly because the money is going to a corporation – a shitty, failing corporation at that.

When I sign up and pay for a 5K and then don’t follow through and actually do the 5K, as with this last Turkey Trot – that, too, is a dumbass tax. But at least part of that money is going to charity. I can rationalize it.

When I purchase pants without trying them on, wash them, and then realize that they don’t fit – that’s a dumbass tax. I haven’t been able to rationalize that except in that my body is in a state of flux and that I relied on the size from the store I purchased them at to be consistent across types of jeans (apparently Tummy Tighter Technology is a euphemism for ‘we’ll make it bigger, but mark it a size smaller so that you feel like you’ve got a tighter tummy’). When I donate them at some point, some woman will be delighted that there is this nice, practically brand new pair of jeans at a low price in her size. Enjoy them, anonymous woman. The steep discount I used to purchase the jeans helps me feel better about this dumbassery.

My DVD fuck-up? It is not rational. It is just stupid.

The account has been closed now, but seeing as how they’ve already taken the $10.81 out of my account for December, they will send me more movies from my queue if I try to send the DVD back now. I have until January 23, 2013 to return the DVD that I could most likely purchase from Amazon, used, for less than $5.

My publishing about my personal dumbass tax is somewhat embarrassing, but I hope that it helps me gain PERSPECTIVE. Perspective that I am severely lacking when I consider that I have spent over $120 to have a DVD sit in an envelope on my shelf for over a year. I’m not trying to say, like, “Oh! Money is so frivolous to me that I can just throw $10 a month away! Hahahahahaha! Starve children in Africa and enjoy your abuse puppies and kittens!” If anything, the shitty feeling is not just at the waste of money, but also the stark reminder of the privileges I have (and that I should budget my money more wisely).

Plus, this site is called Too Much Informanda for a reason. Because I share the stupid things that most people keep to themselves out of shame. Enjoy and, perhaps, relish your superiority for not paying the same dumbass tax(es) that I did.

Also, insert something here about stigma, diffusing stigma, and how we, as a society, do not like to discuss money unless it is in reference to saving money.