Thoughtful Eggplants

Well, I thought Latest Tinder Guy (LTG) had ghosted on me or blocked me.

Nope.

LTG took a break from his phone over the weekend. And because we’re just “going with the flow,” I was supposed to intrinsically know this.

I feel like I need a Liz Lemon-esque monologue about how dumb all of this is.

He apologized if I thought he was dead. Death had not even crossed my mind except in that I wanted to kill him.

In any case, I have told him that I would rather not receive unsolicited eggplant pictures. I told him that most women do not want to receive unsolicited pictures of eggplants.

Once again, Aziz gets it.

In fact, I directed LTG to Critique My Dick Pic, a NSFW website that tries to give instructions and tips for dick pics (aka “eggplant pictures”) that, if requested, would at least be considered hot/erotic/sensual as opposed to like logs¬†(link NSFW). Such¬†pictures do not even have to contain nudity!

Do I see myself requesting such a photo from LTG? Probably not. I doubt that he would keep recommendations from Critique My Dick Pic in mind and would choose to send a thoughtless log instead. A guy who just up and cuts out for three days without giving thought to the other person doesn’t enlist much hope in thought being given to other areas of interaction.

There’s something to be said for having a good banter with someone, even through text. Stripper Guy and I hit it off right away in our repartee – a good mixed amount of wit, flirtation, intelligence, and regular ol’ shootin the shit. No eggplant pictures sent or requested. Granted, he also cut out for days on end, but that could be explained by, you know, his having a girlfriend. Blargh.

I’m definitely learning more about what I want and what I don’t want along this latest journey into dating.