What is the purpose of a dating site?
Meeting people to date. Tinder is like an introduction service, a means for you to get to meet people from the comfort of your phone rather than in a smoke-filled bar.
Yet there are a number of people who do not see it that way. They see dating sites as a way to make friends. This is especially the case with married men and men with significant others who claim they are just there to make friends. Or, as in the case of Stripper Guy, to flirt with random women.
I am starting to learn that traditionally attractive men only talk to someone like me because they want conversation with a “friend.” For example, a man who is a personal trainer matched with me and we started a conversation. I asked if he was on there to make friends or to date as a way to broach the topic of him having a surprise girlfriend stuffed away somewhere. He told me:
“But I don’t really have any expectations on dating sites…just looking to meet cool people”
I don’t get that. My expectation on a dating site is ultimately to determine if I want to go out on a date with someone. Hopefully that person will be cool.
But if I was just trying to make new friends and meet new people, 1) why would I limit myself to just people of one sex, and 2) why wouldn’t I use non-dating social media to make connections?
Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with starting with friends first and going from there. However, that presumes that you would still meet outside of your phones. That is not what I think would happen here, especially with the sort of men who have (for all practical purposes) the antithesis of my body type. I’m the type of woman, in that case, that is relegated to phone-only. Because, as I’ve pointed out previously, I am good for conversation.
I already have plenty of friends that I communicate with regularly or semi-regularly. People I want to have conversations with because they matter to me. Our friendships started in real life. We may even have photos together! I am not just some time waster, another random “cool person” they met through a dating website.
Maybe I’ve pre-judged the Physical Trainer. Perhaps my prejudices based on previous experiences are too strong or my personal fat woman skepticism radar is tuned into the wrong signals. Maybe this will be a friendship that will transition into the real world after all.
I don’t think it is that outlandish to expect dates to come from a dating website, though.