It’s Good to Be Queen

For the past few years, I have bought Cards Against Humanity’s holiday offering. The only things I have not bought from them have been the game priced $5 moreliteral bullshit, and nothing.

I “own” a 1 square foot part of a private island in Maine called “Hawaii 2” thanks to Cards Against Humanity.

I also get to be Queen Amanda the Wise for exactly three minutes. I get to make three decrees – one for each minute – pictured above. My reign will be broadcast on from 3:33 to 3:36 PM EST on May 16, 2016. My decrees will be officially proclaimed. Unfortunately, I am not able to be physically present at Sensible Castle in Cork, Ireland.

Speaking of queens, I will be seeing Beyoncé in Pittsburgh on May 31. I am pretty psyched.