A Wash

The date? It was a wash.

But I learned more about myself and my wants/needs in the process.

I had not seen this guy before asking him out on a date. I liked his mind. I had a description of him both physically and non-physically. By non-physically, I knew that he was shy and, shall we say, socially-awkward.

For our date, I looked really good. I wore a pink sleeveless dress, a thin silver belt cinching the dress at the waist, and sandals. I wore make-up. It wasn’t my va-va-voom look, but it was feminine.

He wore a light yellow polo shirt and shorts, black socks pulled up to the mid calf, and what appeared to be hiking shoes (I say that because they looked similar to my Merrells). And a ball cap. I’m not knocking it as a look… it’s just… I don’t know if any effort was put in. It is not that I am looking for a pretty boy or a model, but maybe a step above what one wears to shop at Wal-Mart. Or maybe that was a step above.

I saw him and, thinking that might be him, I introduced myself. We went into the museum. Saw some exhibits. He didn’t like modern art or impressionist art (I love both), but he liked landscapes. I tried to make commentary and jokes. I asked him his thoughts occasionally because I sometimes heard him making a sound of approval or confusion. He did tell me some things along the way, like that he wasn’t a fan of religious art (I’m not either).

I really did enjoy the museum and the art within.

The museum closed at 5:00 pm and we had finished seeing the museum by 4:15 or so. We went downstairs and sat on a couch near the entrance. I asked him if he was hungry. He said, “No, I ate crackers beforehand. Are you?” Yes, yes I was. I had planned on a meal being a part of the date, but aside from that, I had left the house at 11 am. I drove straight through – nearly 3 hours – to the museum. We spent nearly 3 hours at the museum. I was quite famished. He had no suggestions for restaurants. I looked through my phone, suggesting a few things. He then suggested the museum cafe, mentioning that it was probably overpriced. They were closing. He was nice enough to seek out an employee while I waited.

That idea scrapped, we went and sat back down on the couch to talk. I prattled on and on about my life. I asked him questions about himself. He admitted that he was better interacting online. The employees were clearing up and heading out the door a few at a time.

He told me how he is difficult or impossible or something because he doesn’t want to leave his job and he doesn’t want to leave where he lives because he loves his city – that’s why he’s never pursued a long distance relationship. He went on about he will be very busy and how he won’t have time and he doesn’t make a lot of money. He assumed that I would be very busy as well soon… But he would like to keep talking with me.

And there’s the rub. Good for conversation. Again.

He had made up his mind before the date that it wasn’t going to go anywhere. That may have been why he put no effort in. That may have been why he didn’t consider a meal as part of the date because that would have just been more wasted time on his part.

I guess I should be grateful that he was upfront rather than letting it drag out. But why did he bother going anyway?

We walked to the parking lot. Apparently I had parked next to him. I remember seeing a man sitting there in a minivan and thinking, “Hmm. I wonder if that’s him.” He had followed me into the museum and even stood behind me in line and it wasn’t until after he had paid for his own parking (not that I was expecting him to pay for mine — I was even going to pay for my own meal) that he feigned looking around up until I introduced myself.

He hasn’t bothered trying to strike up a conversation with me again (not that he initiated conversation before), not even to ask if I got home okay — I had double his drive, after all.

Two things are for certain after all of this: I refuse to just be good for conversation. And I need a man who makes an effort.

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