Personal and Political

I just unmatched a guy I had talked about going out on a date with next week. Why? Politics.

I asked him who he was voting for and he said he was undecided because he hates both of the candidates.

So I asked him who he voted for in the past. He gives a list of Republicans. I literally made a hissing noise when I read it.

I point out all the ways in which I am a liberal1, including getting into arguments on the internet about people protesting, and he replied, “What do you want me to say?” Unmatch.

I just can’t do it. Being a conservative, a Republican, even a Libertarian, is a deal breaker for me. I’ve tried. My first boyfriend was a Republican. When he told his mother that I was a Democrat, she said that there was a solution to this, “Don’t vote.”

I can be friends with Republicans and Libertarians and conservatives. Hell, I am related to them. But my personal is just too political to date a conservative. These issues are too important to me to just say I won’t discuss politics at home or something like that. I am a sociologist — race, class, sex, sexuality, gender, social justice… those things are my bread and butter, my nourishment, my sustenance.

I want a partner who is as fired up and passionate as I am about things like choice and civil rights. I don’t think I could date someone who is still undecided at this point before the presidential election, even if they were just doing it to pussyfoot around admitting that they’ll vote for Trump.

I would not want to even think about sleeping with a Republican. I have an IUD and insist on condoms, but were I to fall in the .8% IUD failure rate, the condom broke, and end I up pregnant, I am not going to carry that fetus — never mind that it would have a plastic antennae in its head.2 But I bet the conservatives would be like, “This is a miracle baby! Look at all those contraceptive failures! We can use her as a poster child for everything that is wrong with contraceptives and sex outside of marriage!3 This child must be born – who cares if she dies in the process? She’s lived long enough!”

Fuck. That. Noise.

Perhaps I would have a better shot at this whole dating scene if I could just aim for the type of relationship that James Carville and Mary Matalin have. They have been married for nearly 23 years, have two kids, and don’t discuss politics at home. Perhaps it is petty of me to unmatch and not go on a date with a person because of their political affiliation. Perhaps it might be better, dating-wise, if I was willing to overlook things like political affiliation and beliefs or just not ask about them.

But I can’t. That’s why it’s a deal breaker.


1. Pro-abortion. Pro-union. Pro-LGBT rights. Pro-Black Lives Matter. Pro-comprehensive sex ed. Pro-social safety net. Pro-gun control. I donate money to Planned Parenthood monthly. I’m a super feminist extraordinaire. JUST TO NAME A FEW WAYS. (Not to mention godless, sex-crazed heathen.) 

2. We shall name the child Mirena 

3. That totally worked out with Bristol Palin, right?