Profiles

I don’t get a ton of matches on Tinder or Bumble. Admittedly, this is probably because I don’t just swipe right with abandon and see what comes up. I see pictures with kids or guns or dead animals and that’s a left swipe. I also swipe left for men who say they are looking for someone “fit” or those who say no BFFs or no fatties. 

In any case, I think I may need to take the advice of Modern Romance as well as other things I’ve read and maybe get some better pictures. Ideally, pictures that I do not have to take myself or with a timer. 

I think my pictures should include:

  • One clear headshot
  • One photo of me lecturing or in my office or something professor-ish
  • One full body shot, preferably in nature/outdoors/flowers
  • One photo of me with my dogs, perhaps walking them to show I’m active
  • One photo of me in a social situation, you know, to demonstrate I have friends 
  • One photo related to geek/nerd/social justice stuff 

Now, do men go out of their way to make sure their photos are decent? Not necessarily. I’ve seen more blurry photos of dudes in wedding parties than I’d like to count. 

On Tinder, these are the photos I currently use:


These are my photos on Bumble:

Words matter as well. 

This is my Tinder profile (500 character limit; super likes are different from likes – the person is notified, many people super like on accident while swiping):

And this is my Bumble profile (300 character limit): 


I share these things to give examples of what brings [relatively few] boys to the yard. 

Like many people, I have a difficult time knowing what to say, especially in such limited constraints. No doubt many of my female friends will go, “Those descriptions are great! I’d totally date you!” I appreciate that, ladies, but that enthusiasm is not helping me with the menfolk. 

Things I guess I could say:

  • I have a dry sense of humor. 
  • I have been known to watch Toddlers and Tiaras as a way to reassure myself that what I do for a living isn’t as bad as dealing with child pageants. 
  • The only sport I watch is Sooners football. I have not been re-invited to participate in Fantasy Football since the year I came in second with the strategy of choosing people with odd names. 
  • While I appreciate the outdoors, I’m not what one might consider “outdoorsy.” Same goes for travel. 
  • I’m an introvert with occasional bouts of extrovertism. In other words, I’d prefer to stay at home, but I can also be persuaded to get up and dance on a table from time-to-time, even when sober. 
  • I have a real tendency to overthink things, even to the point of overthinking my overthinking. 

I need to think about this some more, obviously. 

3 thoughts on “Profiles

  1. Mary Nations says:

    You’re right about saying “I would date you!” because your profile is hilarious, intriguing, and sounds a lot like me, or someone I would prefer, in girl form. It just sucks that guys are way more superficial or…maybe don’t get our sense of humor(?) I don’t know. I’m glad Steve referred me to your blog. I think I’m going to LOVE reading it. <3

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