This will probably come as zero surprise to my few dear readers, but I’m with her. And by her, I mean Hillary Clinton. 

I am a liberal and a Democrat and a progressive and all other indicators that show my heart bleeds, I care about a social safety net, etc. 

I am also from Texas. Texas roots run deep. I may live in Ohio, but I will never consider myself an Ohioan. I have Texas wildflowers tattooed on my leg. I miss living there. I miss the atmosphere. 

Do I miss the politics? No. 

I was talking to L about his moving here from Florida. He is still waiting on an official job offer and I was very encouraging, telling him that the company should realize that he is the best – you know, all that cheerleading sort of stuff. 

He said he was glad at least one Ohioan is convinced he deserves the job. 

Then this happened:

Now, L knows that I am a Democrat and liberal. He knows I’m from Texas and that I take pride in my home state. Or he should at least remember the first part.

I know that he was just teasing when he said “Calm down, W.” 

But, to me, those are fightin’ words. 

First, don’t tell me to calm down. I was merely sharing something about myself and expressing pride in where I’m from. I know people from other states don’t get it. In fact, if I was from Florida, I’m not sure I would take pride in that, period. 

 Y’all – other states – don’t pledge to the state flag (Honor the Texas flag, I pledge my allegiance to thee, Texas one and indivisible) and many of y’all don’t know your state song (Texas Our Texas) or bird (Mockingbird) or flower (Bluebonnet) or motto (Friendship) — all the stuff that is indoctrinated into Texans, as evidenced by the things in the parentheses. Note: apparently they added a reference to God in the state pledge in 2007. I wrote it as I said it in school. 

Second, how dare you make the comparison to George W. Bush?! I was not and am not a fan of that man. George W. Bush wore Texas like a fa├žade. He fucked it up when he was governor. He hid out there instead of running the country when he was president. He now toodles away his time in a bougie part of Dallas. He didn’t spend his formative years there – he went to high school in Massachusetts and college at Yale and Harvard. I will admit that in comparison to the current Republican candidate, George W.’s inepititude is not as bad. Yes, George W. Bush is a resident of Texas, but compared to a president like LBJ, he is not a bona fide Texan. 

Not to mention the egregious things Bush did in office as governor and as president. 

I heartily scoff at the implication that I am anything like George W. Bush. 

L mentioned later that it was a purposefully low blow. 

What the hell, man? 

There was no winky emoji or sign that he was teasing when he told me to calm down. Telling me to calm down and adding on the mention of W is what has gotten me riled up now. 

I know he was joking because he likes to consider himself a jester of sorts, but there are better ways of teasing me about my home state pride than telling me to calm down. Such as:

  • Oh you’re from Texas? Please tell me more because you’ve never, ever mentioned it. 
  • Is “Texas” what you list as your nationality on forms?
  • I guess you take that “Don’t mess with Texas” stuff pretty seriously. 

I cannot stand that patronizing bullshit, telling me to calm down. 

I find it hard to see how delivering a “purposefully low blow” is meant to help him in his efforts to get me to like him. 

Again, I realize that he was joking and teasing. I can do some joking and teasing, but this is not the sort or humorous or flirtatious repartee that makes me more attracted to a guy. 

If I could insert a Marge Simpson groan here, I would. 

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