Scenes* from My Life With My Boyfriend

* Imagined and likely unrealistic, as I do not have a boyfriend

My driveway has a sheet of ice under the snow. It’s worse in places where I drove over the snow, it compacted, melted and refroze. I shovel the snow, he follows me, slamming the ice breaker into the ice on the driveway. We bitch about the condition of my driveway (cracked and uneven). He does not chastise me for driving over the snow rather than clearing it back when it first snowed. We have enough energy to tackle the deck and stairs. We are both exhausted afterward and take turns massaging each other’s shoulders. 

Groceries are needed. Neither of us wants to go. He gently prods me to go by saying he’ll go with me. We split the shopping list – he can be trusted to get the right things/brands. Like he doesn’t try to get some generic laundry detergent when he knows I use Tide HE (preferably Sport, but original is cool, too). Tidy Cat with the blue lid, not the red. We combine into one cart before going to the check out. He makes small talk with the cashier. He arranges the large items in the cart so that the barcodes face the cashier. When we return to my house, he helps bring groceries inside. He takes the items out of the bags and then goes around putting non-food things in their places. 

We’re in the car and going somewhere far. We sing along to music or we listen to the latest episode of This American Life. If we listen to a duet, we split the parts. We consider which audiobook we want to listen to on a road trip. We take turns driving between stops for gas (or drowsiness, whichever comes first). Neither of us are dicks about the other’s driving. 

Sometimes we play games. Board games, card games. Not in a super nerdy way or even a routine, but just something we do when there is nothing good on TV.