Broadening Scope

I recently started with a new therapist and I decided we needed to start work on my dating life. 

I told her about a few of my standards – college education, employment, no kids – and she is encouraging me to consider broadening them. One thing, for example, would be to say “maybe” in response to whether or not I would consider looking for a new job or moving. My previous response was “not really.” 

I’ve written before about what I’m looking for, but she would like me to make a few lists. I suppose they would be “ideal,” “acceptable,” and “no way” and then we can look at them to see what I can be more flexible on. 

I tried to explain that Tinder allows me to be open to basically everything. I get a picture, age, and distance. Sometimes a college/job. Sometimes a written profile. I don’t know if she gets it. 

I understand the need of being flexible in the beginning and not shutting down the possibility of moving. It’s just… I’m not going to sacrifice my career. I’ll work around it, commute, whatever. But I don’t see myself packing up everything for some guy. Do you know how rare tenure-track jobs are? And I will get to be the director of Women’s and Gender Studies one day. And maybe chair of my department. I have such possibilities ahead. 

But she was saying that sometimes relationships mean looking for other things – perhaps administration or director of a honors program or something – and making compromises. I know that. But… I am just trying to find someone who doesn’t freak out at talk of musicals, you know? 

I have about 10 days to make my lists. hmm…