On My Own

There’s a song in Les Miserables in which Eponine is dreaming of walking next to her crush, Marius. They’re in love and she sings about how her heart is empty when he is not around. It’s called “On My Own.” You could find it in heavy rotation on my iPod a long time ago. Not so much anymore.

Don’t get me wrong – I have spent PLENTY of time wishing that I wasn’t walking alone, that the empty seat beside was filled by a boyfriend, or that the stranger next to me at the movie theater was actually someone who wanted to put his arm around me.

I haven’t let that stop me, though.

When I travel, I spend a good amount of time on my own. London. Chicago. Seattle. Los Angeles. Even Accra and Kumasi. Hell, I spent a week at Disney World by myself.

I think other people aren’t okay with this. If they cannot find someone to go with them or hang out with them, they just don’t do whatever it is they want to do. And I – as I do not put such restraints on myself – am weird.

You’d think I’d make tons of friends and integrate myself with people I find along the way. I have a friend who travels the world and does just that. I, however, don’t operate that way. I don’t have a problem asking people to take my picture (the trick is to offer to take theirs in exchange — it helps when you see someone struggling to do a selfie), but striking up a conversation is not in my nature.

Obviously, I would love to have someone accompany me to things and travel with me. I love traveling, doing things, and spending time with my cousin Laura – we have a blast! I’ve traveled to Disney World with friends, too, and I enjoyed it. My mom and I like traveling together.

I just don’t have to have someone. I’ll do it anyway because I don’t think I should deprive myself of an experience just because I’m a single woman.

Case in point: I think I am going to try to go see Hamilton in Chicago over Spring Break.

I have enough airline miles for a flight. A single orchestra section seat runs ~$230. I’d need a hotel for one night, airport parking, and my pet sitter. Maybe $400 total if I play my cards right (I need to file my taxes and see if my return will be generous enough to cover such a short trip).

I think it would be nice to treat myself!

After all, I have told people that my ideal birthday this year would either be:

  1. Take-out Pad Thai, cupcake, movie at home, cuddling on the couch
  2. Trip to Chicago (or NYC) to see Hamilton

I know those are not mutually exclusive, but at least one of those has a good chance of occurring.

Anyway, I discussed my plans with Mitt. He asked if I knew anyone in Chicago or had someone I could stay with. Nope. He asked if anyone was going with me or if I was going to try to find someone to go with me. Nope. He asked if I plan on doing other things in Chicago. Not really. (Note: he is not a fan of Hamilton and he has other plans for Spring Break).

And I think this might be a tad off-putting…? I acknowledged that it may make me seem like a weirdo. I’m the type of woman who goes after what I want.

Normally I would not second-guess how this comes across, but I should also acknowledge that I also want Mitt (to put it not so delicately). His being put-off by my pursuing travel would be disappointing. Not that it will stop it. I’m not throwing away my shot!