Candor

When I re-read what I wrote the morning after, I was filled with regret. And I told him as much. 

He said I shouldn’t regret it and that he appreciated my candor. He explained that he is just really awkward around women and he is still unsure as to whether or not he wants a relationship. Sometimes he really looks forward to seeing people, other times he has second thoughts — and this isn’t personal and isn’t a reflection on me as a person. He had a blast with me. And he’s asked me to bear with him if he’s indecisive. 

It was a very thoughtful answer and brought me a lot of relief. He did mention that I may or may not worry too much. I decided to just be myself and be easy and sort of flirty rather than couching what I said. 

Still, I did end up writing a letter to Ask Polly. Basically, I don’t know if this slow pace is “normal,” or weird. How patient should I be with these baby steps? 

We kept in touch through the day Saturday, including him giving me the stats of the end of a Sooners football game while I was at a conference. 

I considered going to tailgate with him before the Browns game on Sunday, but I ultimately decided not to for many reasons, among them that I didn’t want to bring his fun down. I told him that I’d live vicariously through him. 

On Sunday, he basically kept in touch with me as he tailgated, sending me photos and texts. A cute photo of him with a beer. Later, a photo of him face-palming because the Browns suck so badly. 

At the end of the game, he called me! On the phone! He asked me how the team could suck so much. I told him I didn’t know! I think he ended the conversation with “Ciao,” which was sort of weird. 

Monday, he was sort of quiet, but one of the things I like most about him is that he pointed it out, apologized, and explained why. Whaaaaaaaaat?

As I said earlier, I feel a bit better, but I am still not sure where this is headed. I’m going to try to leave it to him to propose our next meeting. The operative word being “try.” I’m free this weekend, but next weekend is already booked. We’ll see.