Skin

Let’s talk skin, shall we? Specifically skin that is plagued by adult acne. 

Last weekend, I developed an acne cyst a bit larger than a quarter above my left eyebrow. Tired of this bullshit, this is my skin care regimen that I started this week in earnest:

Morning

  • Wash face with Cetaphil for acne-prone skin – or with Clean & Clear if I have taken a shower
  • Apply pea-sized amount of Aczone that I can squeeeeeeze out of what’s left in my tube, let dry
  • Apply Cetaphil moisturizer/sunscreen for acne-prone skin
  • Cover any zits with concealer (poorly)

Afternoon

  • Remove make-up with Neutrogena wipe

Before bed

  • Wash face with Cetaphil for acne-prone skin – or with Clean & Clear if I have taken a shower
  • Apply Atralin (this is for scars)
  • Apply Neutrogena moisturizing hydroboost 

Unfortunately, my insurance will not cover Aczone. Trying to go around and use an independent pharmacy does not work, as they will not ship to Ohio and I do not have a Pennsylvania address (where they can ship). 

I can get around this with a two-step process. That is, I have to use an inferior product first, then after it fails (but burns my face in the process), I can use Aczone. 

Sigh. 

I have struggled with acne ever since I entered the hell that is teenage years. It has not gotten better as I have aged. My mother has the same issue. 

I even have acne on my ass, but I consider that less of an issue than my face. 

In addition, I have dermatillomania. Not like, officially, but it is something I do. I don’t leave my face alone. That giant cyst? I tried to get it to pop. Fruitlessly, I might add. Now I have a pencil eraser-sized scab that is poorly concealed by make-up. 

I pick at my hang nails when I get anxious – not even consciously sometimes. 

I’m actually really good about leaving post-surgical sites alone as well as tattoos. Those heal fine, for the most part. The scar on the top of my foot is nearly gone after almost two years. 

I wish that I didn’t scar so darkly, but I do. It takes years for scars to lighten up on my skin. That’s my dad’s genes. My surgical scars are dark and one is a keloid. 

My skin also has tiny bumps on it, mainly on my arms and legs. My dermatologist has informed me it is nothing to worry about. I want to say it’s just hair follicles or something equally innocuous. 

I have a keloid on my upper left arm from a chemical burn. It is nearly 15 years old and it is still evident, though not as obvious. I wish I had cared for it better, but I wish a lot of things were different about those circumstances. 

My body is covered in stretch marks. They don’t bother me too much. Everyone has them. 
In any case, were I to get plastic surgery, scarring is something I’d really have to consider. I’m mainly concerned about my upper arms, but I don’t want a hideous keloid scar around my bikini line either. 

The point is, my relationship with my skin is complicated. I am looking forward to, perhaps one day joining the legion of adults who do not have a ton of zits while in their 30s, 40s, and 50s. It could happen. Maybe.